MY PASSION

Many of you have said that I have not written anything about what I do. Here's the answer.

Muchos se han preguntado que es lo que hago. Aquí está la respuesta.

I am an actor. I have been an actor for many years, and as such, I have been in many shows, from dramas, comedies, dance performances to musicals.

Soy actor. Lo he sido por muchos años y como tal he participado en infinidad de obras, desde dramas, hasta comedias y obras infantiles y hasta musicales.

I am a playwright. I have written many one-acts, a few children’s plays, one-man shows and some full-length plays.

Soy dramaturgo. He escrito muchas obras, desde obras infantiles hasta dramas y comedias. De un acto, de dos actos y hasta obras unipersonales.

I am an educator. And for the last 10 years or so I have taught classes in theatre movement, theatre history, theatre appreciation, playwriting, directing, acting, choreography, and Chicano theatre.

Soy catedrático. He dado clases de baile, historia del teatro, escritura, dirección dramática, actuación, coreografía, e historia del teatro Chicano por los últimos 10 años.

I am a director. The list of plays and musicals I have directed is long, but the ones I am proud the most are: “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” “Stand Up Tragedy,” “Pinocchio,” “The Lady in Question,” “Pippin,” “The Author’s Voice,” “Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat,” “Sex, Shame, and Tears,” “Footloose,” “Night of the Assassins,” “Sudden Death,” and The Wizard of Oz.”

Soy director. La lista de obras y musicales que he dirigido es larga. Algunas de ellas son: “Charlie y la fábrica de chocolates,” “Tragedia Cómica,” “Pinocho,” “La Mujer en Dudas,” “Pippin,” “Sexo Pudor y Lágrimas,” La Noche de los Asesinos,” “Muerte Súbita,” “José el Soñador,” y “El Mago de Oz.”

I am a writer. My articles, short stories, and poems have appeared in different venues. I recently write for a Latino gay magazine based in Los Angeles: ADELANTE MAGAZINE.

Soy escritor. Mis artículos, historias y poemas han aparecido en diferentes revistas. Por el momento, soy contribuyente para una revista Latina de índole gay de Los Ángeles: ADELANTE MAGAZINE.

For a while, I wrote for QVMagazine, several of my short stories were published with them. I also wrote for California West and two magazines based in Mexico City.

Por algún tiempo escribí para QVMagazine donde se publicaron varias historias. Después escribí para California West y otras dos revistas en la Ciudad de México.

A few years back, I wrote a story telling my personal gay-bashing experience. The story was published in an anthology titled “Out and about on campus: Personal accounts by gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender college students.”

Hace unos años escribí una historia basada en mi experiencia personal cuando fui golpeado por ser gay. Esa historia se publicó en un libro titulado “Fuera del Clóset en la Escuela: Historias personales de estudiantes universitarios gay, lesbianas, bisexuales y transgéneros.”

I am a playwright. Several of my ten-minute plays, one-acts, and full-length plays have been produced. But Esno White, Henny Penny, and La Vida Loca have been the most commercially sucessful plays I have written.

Muchas de mis obras de un acto y de diez minutos se han producido en varios lugares, pero “No es Blanca,” “La Gallinita Ciega,” y “La Vida Loca” son las que más éxito comercial han tenido.

Only one of my plays has been published: ESNO WHITE. It appears on an anthology, which compiles contemporary plays, and I am honored to be among Steve Martin, David Henry Wang, and David Lindsay-Abaire.

Como dramaturgo, solo una de mis obras ha sido publicada: ESNO WHITE. Una obra infantil actuada por adultos, la cual cambia la historia de Blanca Nieves a “No Es Blanca.” Esta obra se publicó en una antología de obras contemporáneas y me da orgullo estar entre escritores como Steve Martin, David Henry Wang, y David Lindsay-Abaire.

Esno White is a bilingual (Spanish/English) children’s play based on Snow White. It teaches the importance of cultural identification, self-respect, and acceptance.

“Esno White” es una obra bilingüe (Español/Inglés) para niños basada en “Blanca Nieves.” Enseña la importancia de la identificación cultural, el respeto propio, y la aceptación.

Henny Penny is a children’s play with music, which offers moral lessons on friendship, loyalty, and sharing.

“Henny Penny” (La Gallinita Ciega)es un musical para niños que muestra la importancia de la amistad, la lealtad y la importancia de convivencia.

La Vida Loca is a one-man show, which relates my personal experiences as an immigrant, gay, Latino man. It touches on the subject to illegal immigration, homosexuality, cultural identity, religious identity, and assimilation and many other things, including Ricky Martin, Juan Gabriel and La Llorona.

“La Vida Loca” es una obra unipersonal, la cual relata mis experiencias personales como inmigrante, hombre gay, y hombre latino. Habla de inmigración ilegal, la homosexualidad, identidad cultural, la asimilación y muchas otras cosas, incluyendo Ricky Martin, Juan Gabriel, y La Llorona.

As you can see, I am a person who has done many things and I do them because like breathing, they are necessary for my existence. I don’t think I can live without being a writer, an actor, a playwright, a director, and a dancer. Without them, I have no passion for living. And without passion I have no life.

Como pueden ver, soy una persona que ha hecho varias cosas porque, como el respirar, necesito hacerlas para poder vivir. No puedo vivir sin escribir o actuar, o dirigir o bailar. Sin esas cosas, no hay pasión en la vida. Y sin pasión, no hay vida.

LAS VEGAS

Now that I caught up with the present, there are many things to talk about: personal life, love life, family, sex, achievements, my writing, my plays, theatre work, the reasons why I do what I do, etc... All those things will come in time. So for now, I want to talk to you about my recent trip to LAS VEGAS.

Ahora que ya llegué al presente, existen muchas cosas de que hablar: la vida personal, la vida amorosa, la familia, el sexo, las metas, lo que he logrado, las cosas que he escrito, mi trabajo en el teatro, las razones por las cuales hago lo que hago, etcétera... Todas estas cosas les contaré poco a poco. Por ahora, hablaré de mi reciente viaje a la ciudad de LAS VEGAS.

Everyone talks of Las Vegas as the sinful city. I guess it is if you do sinful things, but then again, it depends what you considered sinful. In my case, VEGAS is just another city.

Todo mundo habla de Las Vegas como la ciudad del pecado. Creo que por que allí puedes hacer cosas pecaminosas. Lo interesante es lo que tú, como persona, consideres “pecaminoso.” En mi caso, nada lo es así que Las Vegas es una ciudad más.

I am a social drinker, and at times I don’t even drink is social situations so drinking isn’t something I did in Las Vegas. I don’t gamble so that was out of the question. But I did go dancing and visited the many different hotels. I even saw a Broadway show: AVENUE Q. It was funny and very entertaining.

A mi no me gusta tomar. Si lo hago es en una situación especial y a veces ni en eso y Las Vegas no fue una excepción. Tampoco me gusta apostar así que es algo que no hice. Pero si visité la mayoría de los casinos y hoteles. También fui a bailar y hasta me aventé una obra de teatro.

If you ask why I went to Las Vegas, the answer is simple. I went because it was school related. And even though I didn’t drink, I didn’t smoke and I didn’t gamble, I had a great time. And if you don't believe me, just look at this picture.

Pensarán que no me la pasé a gusto, pero si me divertí muchísimo. Y si no me lo creen, nada más miren esta foto.

Part IV

Second Year of Graduate School—Spring Semester 06

The semester started slow. The only project I had was the reading of my “thesis” play. The play is called “LLORONAS” and it is based on the Mexican folklore story of “The Weeping Woman.”

Ah, yes, by the end of the fall semester, I had the opportunity to sit down and chat with another famous playwright: Susan-Lori Parks. She was a hoot and a very good advisor when it came to help me sort out a few things with my some of my plays.

Nothing very exciting has happened during the semester, except having Ross LeMann (Rush Hour, Rush Hour 2, Rush Hour 3-in postproduction) come to my screenwriting class and evaluate our work.

Outside school, I loved the fact that I was able to participate in Phoenix’s Gay Parade. I marched with my fraternity.

And this entry brings us to the present. The reading of my play still going on and the semester is about to end. Exciting things will happen before the semester ends and over the summer. As they happen, I will be able to write about them so always come back and check this out.

CHRISTMAS 05

I was a new person. By the time I arrived home to see my family I didn’t want to do anything else but be with them. I took my nephews shopping, to the movies, to the theatre. We celebrated Christmas at home with the entire family, party, after party, after party. And to top things off, the entire family decided to spent the new year in Disneyland.

So yes, three cars and five hours of driving later, we all arrived to “the happiest place on earth.” And if you think going on a family vacation is nightmare, try being the coordinator of a group 25 family members, where 10 people are adults and the rest children.

I must say, that this was the best Christmas break ever and one of the most happiest moments in my life. I am starting to love again, and that is the most precious gift I could ever give and received: LOVE.

Part III

Second Year of Graduate School-Fall Semester 05

I comeback in full force, ready to take on any challenges, especially that of becoming a member of the only gay fraternity on campus: SIGMA PHI BETA.

The fraternity became turned national while I was in Mexico and because of that, they were featured in THE ADVOCATE. That is how I learned about them. I was surprise that after a whole year at ASU, I didn’t know anything about Sigma Phi Beta. So, as soon as I read about them, I researched them. I found out they accepted students from ASU and surrounding areas as longs as they were students in an accredited educational institution. I got excited and as soon as I was back in school, I applied and attended their rush events.

After a week of rush events, I was invited to a bid dinner where I had an interview. And after that, I was given a bid. I accepted and for 8 weeks of my life, I have no life but Sigma Phi Beta pledging period.
At the same time, I was working on my one-man show, which was going to be produced in November 05. That was tough! Unfortunately, there were no students who could carry the role and the director, after talking to the Chair of the department, decided that I was going to play the role.

At first, I was excited but then, reality sunk. I am not a great actor and my rehearsal time was going to clash with the fraternity pledging. Luckily, the director was very understandable of the situation and we worked out a schedule where I rehearsed early so I could be free for pledging activities at night.

It was a very hard semester for me, mentally, physically, psychologically, emotionally, and economically. But by the end, I accomplished several things:

1. I was initiated into Sigma Phi Beta.

2. I had a successful run of my one-man show.

3. I wrote my thesis play.

4. I was invited to present part of my one-man show at the Chicana/Chicano Conference taking place in Guadalajara Mexico over summer 06.

5. My “midlife crisis” had completely disappeared.

By the end of the semester I was so tired and so overworked that for the first time in a long time, I looked forward to the Christmas break. Yet, before I went away on Christmas break, I attended my first SIGMA PHI BETA winter retreat where I had the most fun I have ever had in a long time. And the best part of it all was that I became part of a family of gay guys who now are my brothers.

If you want to check out my fraternity just click on the link in the sidebar titled: SIGMAPHIBETA

SUMMER 2005

During the summer, I went to Mexico City for three weeks. Those three weeks were very exciting to me. I spent one week with my best friend Luis and other friends from the United States, and one week with my sister and her children. I truly enjoyed my visit and this time, I went to Xochimilco, a beautiful part of Mexico City where the streets are calm rives and the only way to travel is on small canoes decorated with wild flowers. To this visit, you bring nothing, no food, no drinks, just lots of money, a camera and a good attitude. Everything you need you will find as you travel in your canoe. There is live mariachi music on other canoes, canoe restaurants, and ice cream parlor canoes, you name it; they have it. They even have special stops so you can use the restroom facilities. It was a great trip and a great experience.

After my visit to Mexico City, I taught two theatre classes at the local community college, and when I was not teaching, I was writing my next play, which unbeknown to me, would become my thesis.

Part II

First year of Graduate School Spring Semester

I returned to school for my second semester as a playwright graduate student.

Ahead, I have more classes on theory and writing, but the thing I was looking forward the most, was the stage reading of my first full-length bilingual play. The title: “NOVELA.” The premise: a Latino theatre company struggles to put together an original work as the company can’t get along and their lives start to influence that of the characters and vice versa.

While I worked on such play, a local Latino theatre company hired me as their Managing Director. This was thanks to the fact that I directed a play for them during the fall. The play is called: “Sexo, Pudor y Lágrimas.” (Sex, Shame and Tears.) The play was nominated for an ariZoni, which is the state version of a Tony for theater companies. So I became the Managing Director for Teatro Bravo! And if you’re interested, you can check the website by going to the sidebar and clicking on the link: Teatro Bravo!

This semester I was a little bit busier than the first semester so I didn’t have time to feel lonely. I actually started enjoying my life away from my family and friends. And because of the stage reading, which required bilingual actors, I started to meet a new group of Latino people who started to become good friends.
The semester ended in a high note when, “The Virginia Piper Creative Writing Center” named me the winner of the 2004-2005 Writing Summer Fellowship in Playwriting. I received a cash prize of $5,000.00. Yes, my summer was going to be splendid.

CHRISTMAS 2004

Christmas season has always been very difficult for me. I don’t like the cold, I don’t like the fact that the season is all about buying, and I don’t like the fact that most people don’t really have enough money to have a good Christmas. So I don’t enjoy it much. I do like New Year’s though and this time, my partner, his sister and I spent four days—from December 30 to January 2 in “the happiest place on earth:” Disneyland.

Part I:

First year of graduate school-Fall Semester

I was very excited about my first year as a graduate student at Arizona State University. The program director promised me a lot of fun and a lot of learning.

Little did he know that I was more excited about the fact that the school has more than 50,000 students and to me, if "one in ten" is gay, well... do the math. And then I remember my college adventures and how many of my straight friends and fraternity straight friends lost their inhibitions after a few beers. It was heaven!!! So now being back in college after a five-year break, I was in heaven once again.

Except that this time was different. I was no longer the 20 something kid that ran around shirtless at all times in the dorms. I was now much older and less fit. So my heaven was not as bright and as "heavenly" as I expected. I was now older, a little bigger on the sides and the six-pack I was had when I was a go-go dancer had gone away.

Yes, coming back to college gave a new doze of reality. I was getting older. I still had the same spirit, the same energy, the same enthusiasm, which I had carried during undergraduate life. But now, I was older and I was reminded of it when I saw a group of college guys playing in the baseball field--all shirtless, all young, sweaty, and beautiful.

I, on the other hand, was not playing with them; I was jogging by myself. I was trying, like I continue trying, to keep from gaining any more weight. As I passed by them, for the fifth or seventh time, their freezbe landed near by where I was running. I stopped, picked it up and was ready to send it flying back to the group when one of them stood in front of me. I gave him the freezbe and with a very polite smile and sincerity he said, "Thank you, sir."
And that was all I needed. I knew at that moment, exactly about three seconds after he thanked me that I, Carlos, was no longer a young college student, but a graduate college student who was no longer young.

Fast-forward three months ahead. I am living downtown Phoenix while going to ASU. My life as a grad student is a happy one. My life as a man is not. I don't like how I look. I don't like how I feel. I don't like having my family, my friends, and my boyfriend so far away from me. If I am not in school, I am at home, writing. And that is good for my career but bad for my life. I go out once in a while and I ponder about the meaning of my existence as if I was a 25-year old boy. I don't understand it. Is this what they call "middle age crisis?" And what exactly is "middle age?" Is it when I am in my 30s or 40s or 50s? I am not sure. If it is when I'm in my 30s, then it means I will die in my 60s. Isn't it to early to die? I want to die when I'm older, like my great-grandmother. She died at the age of 121 years old. And at that age, she could walk, saw, and tell the most wonderful stories ever. So I don't want to die in my 60s, or my 80s.In October I was told that my play "La Vida Loca" had been chosen for the next year's season of new works festival. That made me happy--very, very happy. By December, I had finished my first full-length play and I was happy with it. I also had the opportunity to work with one of the greatest playwrights in American history: Edward Albee. I had finished my first semester as expected:full of accomplishments. But few were the friends I made. I was still trying to heal my wounded heart.

The beginning

In here, I will post about life in general. And since I have a lot to say, I will start with graduate school experiences. We must travel back in time to the Fall of 2004.

Carlos